When Nikki got home that night she was ecstatic. She had smoked multiple times in public. It was like she was an adult. Unfortunately that feeling came to a crushing end when the phone rang just after 9 p.m.
Her grandfather wasn’t feeling well and he had to be taken to the hospital for chest pains.
Poppa, as he was referred to by most of his grandchildren, had turned 87 a month before, and although he was sharp as a tack mentally, he was very frail physically.
Concern for her grandfather filled her mind, as well as concern for her grandmother if anything happened because she was clearly suffering from dementia.
Her mother left to take Poppa to the hospital, and she would be going to sit at her own father’s bedside every night for the rest of the week.
On Wednesday, Nikki went with her father to the hospital so that she could see Poppa. He was lucid but very frail so it was difficult to say if he would make it or not. After sitting with him for nearly an hour before she could take no more. Her beloved grandfather lying in a hospital bed was too much for the 15-year-old to handle.
She excused herself from the room and headed outside. For a moment Nikki stood on the sidewalk by the hospital entrance in sobbing in silence before wiping the tears from her eyes. Nikki lit a cigarette but this time it could not make her feel better, and she broke down once more, knowing it may be the last time she saw him.
The following night, Nikki stayed home to do her homework and her parents called from the hospital around 9 p.m. just to see how she was doing, making no mention of anything serious happening to her grandfather.
So Nikki went to bed about an hour later but a couple hours later her mother came in to wake her gently and informed her that her grandfather had passed away that night quietly.
She just laid there for what seemed like hours. Nikki knew that her Poppa could no longer suffer but she also knew that she would never have a chance to see him again.
The rest of the weekend her parents got together funeral arrangements for the next weekend, while attempting to come up with a plan for her grandmother, who could not stay in the house by alone. Her brothers would be coming home the following week for the wake and funeral also.
The following week would be an odd one for Nikki. It was midterm week at school and many of her cousins would be coming town, some of them she hadn’t seen in over a decade, not to mention she was still coming to grips with the passing of her grandfather.
Her teachers were lenient with her midterms because she was such a good student so getting them done and done well was not difficult for her, but her smoking was amplified over the first half of the week because of the stress of the entire situation.
The two-day wake would run all day on Thursday and Friday, plus the funeral on Saturday would make for long emotional days that she would have to handle without cigarettes due to her deal with her parents about smoking in front of her grandmother.
It would be especially difficult considering the wife of her cousin was a heavy smoker and she had a cousin coming in from Oklahoma that she quickly found also smoked. She was hoping she could stay oblivious to when they went outside to avoid any significant cravings until she got home (even then her older brothers teased her about her new addiction).
Nikki got through the first half of the wake on Thursday with no problem but when they returned for the evening session she was starting to feel the urge. She noticed her cousins going outside frequently, combined with not having a cigarette in several hours; the cravings were starting to get to her. She also knew that her cousin Katie, who was the same age, was sneaking out smoke with them without getting detected.
Deciding to obey her parents’ wishes, particularly since her mother had enough to worry about with the passing of her father and the worries she was facing with her mother’s future. Halfway through the evening session Nikki was starting to get fidgety and her mother took notice of her daughter’s fidgeting..
“Go ahead,” her mother conceded almost rolling her eyes. “Try not to let anybody see you.”
Nikki was so appreciative that she practically sprinted – or as much as a girl can sprint in nearly four-inch heels – to the funeral parlor coat room. She put on her other black leather coat used for special occasions that ran down to her mid-thigh and grabbed her purse.
Having gotten so excited and in such a hurry, Nikki had not even noticed anyone else as she pulled a Marlboro Red Label 100 (she preferred the longer cigarettes) and lighter out before stepping out in the cold January evening.
As soon as she opened the door she looked straight out and looked over her shoulder to make sure there was nobody else coming. Just as she stepped outside and lit up she realized that in her haste to soothe her craving that Nikki forgot to look toward the bench to the left of her.
There sat her cousin Erin, her sister-in-law Jenny and her cousins Katie and Kelley sitting on the bench with cigarettes in hand and mouths open in astonishment. Nikki knew that Erin, Jenny and Katie smoked, but she had no idea that her older sister Kelley (who was the same age as her next oldest brother) also smoked.
“Well, well, well,” said Kelley, who was always quick with a smart remark. “When did we start this?”
“A few months ago,” Nikki mumbled.
“What does your mother think of her perfect little daughter smoking?” Erin joked in her usual southern drawl.
“She wasn’t happy at first but she lets me as long as I don’t smoke in public back home,” Nikki said.
“Well I never would have pictured this,” said Kelley with a smile. “You’re such a rebel.”
“Oh totally,” Nikki said sarcastically. “I have to go around to the side though so nobody else sees me. I don’t care if they do, but it was part of the deal with my parents.”
“I’ll go with you,” said Katie, who was hiding from her parents.
The two teenagers walked around to the side of the building until they were out of sight.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Katie asked immediately.
“I don’t know,” said Nikki honestly. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“When did your parents catch you?” Katie asked.
Nikki told her cousin the entire story and she could tell that the elder girl of six months was a little impressed.
“Your parents really don’t care?” Katie said.
“Well they aren’t happy about it obviously, but they have gotten pretty cool about it,” Nikki said. “It’ll be a lot easier to buy them when I can drive, though.”
“Wow,” her cousin responded in amazement. “Who would have thought?”
The remainder of the weekend Nikki found times to discreetly slip out away her cousins without being detected by any adults. It was the one bright spot of the entire week.
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